Jennifer

Jennifer's story is a testament to the power of human nature's will to survive and the healing power of God's love. Three years ago her boyfriend was murdered as she sat beside him in a car – shot to death in a drug deal gone wrong. Eighteen months later she found herself in a hospital bed, badly beaten by her current boyfriend, eight months pregnant, addicted to crack and not knowing where to turn for help.

Jennifer is currently halfway through the Renewal Place program at The Salvation Army Purdue Center of Hope. It has been a hard journey and one that is far from over. But she is sober, and her daughter Lexi is a beautiful, energetic toddler who loves to play with purses and her mom's necklaces.

Her journey started more than 20 years ago when she had her first drink at age 11. Her addictions escalated from alcoholism to taking pain medication, to snorting cocaine and eventually smoking crack. After seeing her boyfriend murdered, she didn't care if she lived or died. She wound up in a very abusive relationship, with no self esteem left, and a powerful hunger for the drugs that could take her pain away. She lived in a dirty, vacant apartment with her boyfriend and other addicts. It was heated, but had no hot water so she rarely washed herself. To fund her addiction she turned to prostitution and found herself pregnant. Jennifer believes Lexi's father is the boyfriend she was living with, but she doesn't know for sure.

A few weeks before she wound up in the hospital, Jennifer realized she needed to get out of the life she was living. She had hit rock bottom and she knew she had to protect her baby. It was when she told her boyfriend she was leaving him that he put her in the hospital. Six months after she started in Renewal Place he went to jail for murder.

Jennifer needed help to deal with her addictions, but she didn't know where to go. She didn't know if she could get through a day without drugs. Her mother enrolled her in Baby Love, a short-term program for pregnant, substance-abusing women. To Jennifer's relief, Lexi was born without drugs in her system. After leaving Baby Love, Jennifer realized she needed to get long-term help to deal with her issues and her addictions, and so she turned to Renewal Place.

Adjusting to the program was difficult. She wasn't used to living according to a schedule, and Lexi had a few early health concerns. Facing her demons has been especially hard for Jennifer. Shortly after joining the program, Renewal Place director Sharon Cash realized Jennifer needed additional counseling to help her face the pain of her past and address her self esteem issues. She enrolled Jennifer in Experiential Healing Center whose counselors helped her deal with the pain. Slowly but surely Jennifer has become stronger every day.

"I have learned so much since starting the program," said Jennifer. "Not just about the drugs and alcohol and their hold on me, but about how to live sober."

Jennifer realizes she had been living in denial for a long time. The 12 step program has helped her face her problems. She appreciates the guidance her sponsors have given her, as well as the insight into addiction the meetings and classes give her. She has learned how to have healthy relationships again, especially with her mother and step-father, and to set boundaries. She is also learning how to be a good mother through parenting classes, is trying to be financially responsible and she has her own savings account.

The spirituality of the program has helped her as well. Jennifer now has a relationship with God that she didn't have before. She says she can feel it in her soul when she is doing wrong – a voice that had been quiet for 20 years. It gives her the strength she needs on a daily basis to look within herself and continue on her path through Renewal Place.

While she has made great progress, she knows she faces tough decisions and challenges in the future. She is afraid of life after Renewal Place when she will have to live on her own. She worries that because she has not worked for four years she will have difficulty finding a job. But, she knows the lessons she is learning in Renewal Place will help her face those fears. She is about to start on the career phase of the program, where she will learn skills to help her find a professional position. She also takes comfort in the success Venus, who graduated almost a year ago, has had since leaving the program.

Jennifer's goals for the future are simple – get a good job in an office, maintain her sobriety and her relationships with her sponsors and family, to be a good mother and to live a quiet life. For now she looks forward to finishing her journey through Renewal Place and the life lessons she will learn.